It's come to my attention that not all you Pilgrims are up on the latest medical terms (or Turms) as we call 'em in the South. Here is a little Primer to study afore your next visit in case you git ill!
Redneck Medical Terms
Redneck Medical Terms
Benign- What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria- Back door to cafeteria.
Barium- What you do with dead folks.
Cesarean Section- A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan- What mice do before coming out of their holes.
Cauterize- Made eye contact with her.
Colic- A sheep dog.
Coma- A punctuation mark.
D&C- Where Washington is.
Dilate- To live longer than your kids do.
Enema- Not a friend.
Fester- Quicker than someone else.
Fibula- A small lie.
G.I.Series- World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail- What you hang your coat on.
Impotent- Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain- Getting hurt at work.
Morbid- A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates- Cheaper than day rates.
Medical Staff- A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake.
Node- I knew it.
Outpatient- A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear- A fatherhood test.
Pelvis- Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative- A letter carrier.
Recovery Room- Place to do upholstery.
Secretion- Hiding something
Tablet- A small table to change babies on.
Seizure- Roman emperor who lived in the Ceasarean Section.
Terminal Illness- Getting sick at the train station.
Tumor- More than one.
Urine- Opposite of mine.
Varicose- Near by
Hospital- The biggest building in town, other than Joe's feed warehouse or Franks lumber mill
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