This past weekend, we had a 50 Year Reunion of Ole' Military Friends we were stationed with in Japan.....

..right 'cheer in San Antonio! Vet's and their families came from 22 States and even the U.K.! But one feller in particular (who is rumored to be a descendant of Dan'l Boone hisself), decided to drive non-stop from the great state of Georgia with his wife and daughter. His daughter put his travelin' tribulations to song, and I offer it here!

"It's funny, how sometimes very ordinary, everyday acts can turn into something that reaches epic status. Our daughter, Rebecca, captured this in a poem. I have posted it, with very minimal editing.

My sincere apologies to Randy Owens and the group ALABAMA.

IF YOU'RE GONNA DRIVE TO TEXAS
(YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PIDDLE IN THE VAN)

If you're gonna drive to Texas,
You're gonna have to piddle in the van,
Interstate rest stops are handy,
but too few in Dixie-land,
So just keep your legs crossed,
Try not to let it show,
We'll try to get you there before you go

We left our home in Georgia,
heading West to San Antone,
I knew I had to piddle,
and I wish that I had gone
By the time we crossed that 'Bama line,
my eye teeth were afloat,
"If we don't find a rest stop,
we're gonna have to find a boat!"

So we pulled into a rest stop,
just South of Birmingham,
I hurried out of the car,
and headed for the can,
Must have been my bad luck,
The way it usually goes,
A big white sign reading,
"SORRY RESTROOM CLOSED".

So I ran around the corner,
and I wasn't very shy,
Pulled down my zipper,
and really let it fly,
I knew that once I started,
I really couldn't stop,
Until I was accosted,
by a big old Redneck Cop!

He said:
"If you're gonna drive to Texas,
and you come through Alabam..
If you have to piddle,
better find yourself a can,
'Cause this is plain illegal,
and you'll have to go to jail,
but that should solve your problem
'cause there's a benjo in your cell.

Now we're out of jail,
back on the interstate,
My kidneys are still full,
and I know that I can't wait,
They knew that I was hurting,
Because they told me so,
and gave me a Dixie Cup,
to catch the overflow.

So if you drive to Texas,
and if you piddle in the van,
Some things you can do sitting,
but some, you have to stand.
Keep your eyes wide open,
and watch for passing cars,
Or you might just find yourself,
peeking through the bars. "

Now Pilgrims -- I ask you --- how much Americana can you stand in one sittin'! I reckon Rebecca and her prohibitively prostate punished Papa have done said it all! Thanks Y'all!
Oh, and BTW, if you ain't familiar with 'benjo', you led too sheltered a life Pardner and shoulda shared a tour in the military along the way!
Pecozbill